Four Word Self-Help

Patti Digh from 37days.com has a new book, Four Word Self Help: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives. I brought it with me on a mini vacation focused on relaxing.

Despite the number of times I have learned this lesson in my life, I’m still not good at relaxing. It takes a lot of work, which I realize isn’t really the path. In an attempt to do otherwise, I sat in the comfortable chair in the hotel and picked up the book.

I love the size, it’s 5″ x 6.6″. It has a lovely intimacy in the hand. It’s also a hardcover, which I appreciate for a book that gets revisited. I don’t read Patti’s work once, I reread it over and over as it seeps in differently each time. It’s also a lovely shade of purple under the dust cover.

Does it count as relaxing if you are moving really fast?

Just a few minutes later I am on page 66. I can read ‘four word self help’ insights really fast since each one only has four words. I suspect I am missing the point. I remember the thousands of reminders in my life pointing to this, many of them from Patti herself. I recognize a 4 word insight:

Slow down, absorb words

Then I remember the book is full of lovely art created by readers of Patti’s blog. How could I forget, I even painted one of them. So then:

Slow down, absorb art

Why do I feel so guilty?

I run fast so I feel productive. Relaxing doesn’t feel productive. It makes no difference that my head knows better, or even that I have proved to myself over and over that I am actually more productive when I don’t overtax myself. I haven’t been able to uncouple the auto-response.

Page 68: Breathe deeply and often

Page 69: Let the tears fall

I run fast to stay ahead of the feelings. Positive is easier fast. Overwhelmed and frustrated sneak in when I slow down.

Countering with good behavior

If I do healthy things I think it will balance out. So I continue with a checklist.

Page 70: Keep flowers nearby

I no longer view them as a nice to have, but they are a need to have. Food for my soul. Inside and out. Flowers on my desk, on my deck, in the yard.

Page 71: Use smaller dinner plates

Page 72: Eat more real food

This year has been a shift to more local food. Belonging to a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and buying local meat. Easting less higher quality food. I’m doing good. Look how many of these things I am doing!

What am I thinking?

Am I getting any of the messages of this book at all? Running, keeping score? I return to the dust jacket:

life is simpler than we try to make it

I don’t even have to try to make it complex. After so many years of practice it comes naturally. Simple has become complex from all the layers I have to remove to get there.

What would I rather focus on?

Patti invites us to create our own 4 Word Self Help. She offers four guidlines:

Keep it very simple.

Make them four words.

Avoid the word “don’t.”

Make each an action.

What would I like to move toward? Or remind myself of regularly? Here are a few to start.

• Make art every day.
• Move toward my desires.
• Greet difference with curiosity.
• Find possibility in all.
• Offer benefit of doubt.
• Keep doing it anyway.

Thanks Patti

For continuing to inspire me with your writing, and inviting me to contribute art for your books.

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