While I’ve been looking back to stories from thirty years ago, I’ve also become curious about what it means to be an artist where I live now. I’ve lived here longer than any other place, so I’ve been thinking about how it influences the work I make now.
My trees are influenced by the amazing oaks that sit in the middle of the farmers fields. Beyond that, I wasn’t intentionally exploring what is around me.
This map is the first piece that turns my focus to where I am in Hillsboro Oregon. We’ll see where it takes me next.
While I’ve been looking back to stories from thirty years ago, I’ve also become curious about what it means to be an artist where I live now. I’ve lived here longer than any other place, so I’ve been thinking about how it influences the work I make now.
My trees are influenced by the amazing oaks that sit in the middle of the farmers fields. Beyond that, I wasn’t intentionally exploring what is around me.
This map is the first piece that turns my focus to where I am in Hillsboro Oregon. We’ll see where it takes me next.
After working on my story images for many months, I noticed my feelings about my stories shifted. Profoundly. I had done therapy long ago, so I felt like I was over all this old stuff. Yet, writing the stories and carving them into paintings surfaced feelings that were deeply buried.
It wasn’t traumatizing and super emotional like therapy had been.I just noticed the feelings surfacing, moving through me onto the paper. Writing multiple drafts and carving several layers transformed my relationship to these stories. The charge they held at the beginning dissipated.
Who Am I Now?
I started thinking about who I was now as a result of these experiences I had thirty years ago. As difficult as it was, I learned and grew in profound ways.
The image that kept surfacing was the tree that had incorporated scars and learned to live on the edge of the cliff. This is how I see myself as a result of living through challenge.
This is just one of the pieces that will be shown at the Washington County Open Studio tour. October 19 and 20. 11AM – 5PM. I’d love to see you at 6443 NE Brighton St Hillsboro OR 97124.
After working on my story images for many months, I noticed my feelings about my stories shifted. Profoundly. I had done therapy long ago, so I felt like I was over all this old stuff. Yet, writing the stories and carving them into paintings surfaced feelings that were deeply buried.
It wasn’t traumatizing and super emotional like therapy had been.I just noticed the feelings surfacing, moving through me onto the paper. Writing multiple drafts and carving several layers transformed my relationship to these stories. The charge they held at the beginning dissipated.
Who Am I Now?
I started thinking about who I was now as a result of these experiences I had thirty years ago. As difficult as it was, I learned and grew in profound ways.
The image that kept surfacing was the tree that had incorporated scars and learned to live on the edge of the cliff. This is how I see myself as a result of living through challenge.
This is just one of the pieces that will be shown at the Washington County Open Studio tour. October 19 and 20. 11AM – 5PM. I’d love to see you at 6443 NE Brighton St Hillsboro OR 97124.
This painting is about a car trip I took with my sister, a parrot and the man I was leaving. It was the beginning of an ending as well as my first trip to the place on Cape Cod I would go to heal. It was the place my life finally started pivoting overall toward getting better.
In case you are wondering, I wouldn’t recommend traveling with a Nanday Conure. They are really loud in an enclosed space. Just one on a long list of things I wouldn’t recommend from that time in my life.
When I was twenty-six my parents bought a Victorian fixer-upper on Cape Cod. My life and my sisters life had spun out of control. We converged around this house as we began to ask why. All of us dug deep as all the major systems in the house were replaced, the house lifted, and a new foundation poured.
At the time I don’t think any of us realized all the internal work we were doing was mirrored in this huge renovation project. All of our lives changed profoundly as the house was slowly transformed into a bed and breakfast.
My father stopped the car. Mom turned around and said, “you don’t have to do this.”
Every fiber of my being screamed, Dad drive to Alaska. I said, “it’s OK, I said I’d do it.”
Listening to My Inner Voice
Part of me knows when I’m doing something that isn’t on the best path for me. I had to learn to listen to that voice. Especially when it is screaming. It has never been a good idea to ignore it (even if it’s just whispering.)
This is just one of the pieces that will be shown at the Washington County Open Studio tour. October 19 and 20. 11AM – 5PM. I’d love to see you at 6443 NE Brighton St Hillsboro OR 97124.
My father stopped the car. Mom turned around and said, “you don’t have to do this.”
Every fiber of my being screamed, Dad drive to Alaska. I said, “it’s OK, I said I’d do it.”
Listening to My Inner Voice
Part of me knows when I’m doing something that isn’t on the best path for me. I had to learn to listen to that voice. Especially when it is screaming. It has never been a good idea to ignore it (even if it’s just whispering.)
This is just one of the pieces that will be shown at the Washington County Open Studio tour. October 19 and 20. 11AM – 5PM. I’d love to see you at 6443 NE Brighton St Hillsboro OR 97124.
When I was sixteen, I was determined to go to art school. I got it into my head it had to be Rhode Island School of Design. It was quite a process convincing my parents this was a good idea then figuring out how to make it happen. It felt like I risked everything, challenging family assumptions about what I was supposed to do.
I was not prepared for the criticism once I got there. Having fought so hard I didn’t dare admit it wasn’t quite what I hoped for.
When Things Aren’t What You Expect
I was young. I didn’t know how to navigate the complexity I was facing. Looking back I needed emotional support, and didn’t know healthy ways to get it. Even more problematic was I didn’t know the right people to get it from. Let’s just say many of my experiments weren’t very successful.
Working with the Roots We’ve Got
I was doing something my parents had no experience with. I was trying to figure out how the world worked in a place that was totally unfamiliar. Even though it was not far from where I grew up, it was light years from anything I knew.
In confusion, I worked with what I had. Reached down into the tangle of my past and tried to use what I found.
This is just one of the pieces that will be shown at the Washington County Open Studio tour. October 19 and 20. 11AM – 5PM. I’d love to see you at 6443 NE Brighton St Hillsboro OR 97124.
Individual stories with envelopes made from maps of setting
I wrote the first story in my memoir project, then set off to take a class to learn how to create small booklets. The plan was to put an image of the painting the story was inscribed into on the cover.
Maps of locations
I started to paint maps of the locations the stories took place. The first story is partially set in Mashpee MA. I didn’t want them to all be alike, so I painted the maps in a variety of colors and textures.
I saved the various maps to digital files, then printed out several of each color. On the back side, I used a Gelli Plate to make a unique print. When I cut envelopes from these pages, no two are alike. Making the booklets was a lot of fun, using a different set of skills than the large paintings or writing the stories. I enjoyed the production quality, providing a nice break in the intensity of the other work I was doing.
Relationship between stories and art
I thought I’d find a way to have these little books displayed with my artwork. Now I am not so sure. Writing the story was a powerful process. Finding an image that spoke about the essence of what I learned was meaningful to me. But now that they are done, I’m not sure that one enhances the other. I’m concerned that the books will just distract from the paintings. People seem more inclined to focus on words.
The contrast in scale
There is an intimacy in the little books that pulls the focus to a small space. The paintings are much larger, and hopefully pull the attention to an expanded space. I’m not yet sure how to manage that. Or the relationship between the two that would make them each more than they are separately.
Process Versus Product
As a creator it can be confusing when there is a direct connection in the process of creating works but the final products don’t retain the same link. It’s possible that I just need to step back and see the pieces in a new way. Or allow the small books to just be a step in my overall path.
