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Eighteen days of creating art every day. Although I don’t always get to spend as much time as I would like, I have made time every day to paint. Sometimes in traditional media, sometimes digital. I have enjoyed every minute it. The process of creation is a delight.
Not that all the emotions have been comfortable. I’ve been creating art for the exploring my work products, and the range of topics I am exploring visually includes uncomfortable places that exist in me too. It’s been reflective and manageable. I’ve felt capable of noticing and processing the emotions coming forward.
Resisting posting
On the other hand, the further I get into the challenge, the less I want to write about it or post what I am doing. Showing work has always been loaded, and by far my least favorite part of creating. I’ve done it in a variety of ways, but there have been far more moments of pain than moments of feeling supported. Showing feels more snake-like, writhing, with the capacity to bite and kill.
I know this is a phase, and it will pass. I’m just admitting it, and seeing where it takes me. I’m committing to keep painting, but only sharing as much as I can tolerate. Because I know if I push myself too hard, the feelings of rejection and tossing into a big black hole can overtake the desire to create.
The joy of creating is too precious to risk.
I like to hear your comments and stay in touch.
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14 Comments
I love your animal images. Do you work on a graphics tablet? This post is a direct reflection of what I am feeling as I am being drawn (literally) to begin another project – one with both incredible beauty and terrifying fangs
I used to draw animals all the time, so this has been a return to an old passion. Glad you are enjoying them.
Yes, I use a Wacom Intuos tablet. I very much want their Cintiq… someday.
I love your animal images. Do you work on a graphics tablet? This post is a direct reflection of what I am feeling as I am being drawn (literally) to begin another project – one with both incredible beauty and terrifying fangs
I used to draw animals all the time, so this has been a return to an old passion. Glad you are enjoying them.
Yes, I use a Wacom Intuos tablet. I very much want their Cintiq… someday.
So interesting to read your thought process on the post part of the challenge. I started off as a writer and later became artist. So I often feel like I just want to post the art with no other words because the words feel more involved to me or something. Someday I do just post image with “not much else to say” and leave it at that. You are soooooooooooo right though, it is all process. This wave will give way to the next wave and so on. In everyday life sometimes I let one wave shut me down for awhile — but when I’m in AEDM challenge mode, I ride thru the wave, make art, post anyway because, well, because others are sort of expecting something every single day, you know? Helps me practice feeling the wave and making art anyway 🙂
Wanted to say, too, thanks much for tweeting forward my acrylic transfer how-to the other day. That was one I was really wanting to share, so I’m really honored to know people found it inspiring and helpful!
Miracles to you as you Art On for AEDM!
k-
So interesting to read your thought process on the post part of the challenge. I started off as a writer and later became artist. So I often feel like I just want to post the art with no other words because the words feel more involved to me or something. Someday I do just post image with “not much else to say” and leave it at that. You are soooooooooooo right though, it is all process. This wave will give way to the next wave and so on. In everyday life sometimes I let one wave shut me down for awhile — but when I’m in AEDM challenge mode, I ride thru the wave, make art, post anyway because, well, because others are sort of expecting something every single day, you know? Helps me practice feeling the wave and making art anyway 🙂
Wanted to say, too, thanks much for tweeting forward my acrylic transfer how-to the other day. That was one I was really wanting to share, so I’m really honored to know people found it inspiring and helpful!
Miracles to you as you Art On for AEDM!
k-
Kara,
I certainly have added pressure for myself this year thinking I need to write. Last year I just posted on Facebook and Twitter with little comment, and you are right, it was easier. Perhaps I just need to give myself a break (again 🙂
I’m also realizing I haven’t done near the amount of material experimenting that I intended to do. Good thing I have 10 days left. The acrylic transfer is on the list!
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Christine Martell, Christine Martell. Christine Martell said: The joy of creating art I don't want to show http://ow.ly/3bXws #aedm2010 […]
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Christine Martell, Christine Martell. Christine Martell said: The joy of creating art I don't want to show http://ow.ly/3bXws #aedm2010 […]
Hi Christine,
I love the snakes, and the background is wonderful and so snakelike in colour and texture, too. Perfect combination.
I get what you’re saying about posting your creations and the risk that involves, of invoking hurtful criticism or silence. It seems a wise move to share only what feels comfortable and appropriate to you, it’s so important to keep that creative flame alight.
With the exception of art school, I haven’t had a lot of hurtful criticism. More the garden variety ‘my five year old could do that’ type. The silence is much harder. I don’t know if people are just being quiet because they don’t like stuff and don’t want to offend me, or if they just don’t know what to say. I did run into a friend the other day who told me she has been enjoying my postings, but didn’t comment because she didn’t know what to say. It surprised me since she is an arts professional. Made me think I need to write a post about possibilities and get suggestions from all of you.
Hi Christine,
I love the snakes, and the background is wonderful and so snakelike in colour and texture, too. Perfect combination.
I get what you’re saying about posting your creations and the risk that involves, of invoking hurtful criticism or silence. It seems a wise move to share only what feels comfortable and appropriate to you, it’s so important to keep that creative flame alight.
With the exception of art school, I haven’t had a lot of hurtful criticism. More the garden variety ‘my five year old could do that’ type. The silence is much harder. I don’t know if people are just being quiet because they don’t like stuff and don’t want to offend me, or if they just don’t know what to say. I did run into a friend the other day who told me she has been enjoying my postings, but didn’t comment because she didn’t know what to say. It surprised me since she is an arts professional. Made me think I need to write a post about possibilities and get suggestions from all of you.