Eighteen days of creating art every day. Although I don’t always get to spend as much time as I would like, I have made time every day to paint. Sometimes in traditional media, sometimes digital. I have enjoyed every minute it. The process of creation is a delight.
Not that all the emotions have been comfortable. I’ve been creating art for the exploring my work products, and the range of topics I am exploring visually includes uncomfortable places that exist in me too. It’s been reflective and manageable. I’ve felt capable of noticing and processing the emotions coming forward.
On the other hand, the further I get into the challenge, the less I want to write about it or post what I am doing. Showing work has always been loaded, and by far my least favorite part of creating. I’ve done it in a variety of ways, but there have been far more moments of pain than moments of feeling supported. Showing feels more snake-like, writhing, with the capacity to bite and kill.
I know this is a phase, and it will pass. I’m just admitting it, and seeing where it takes me. I’m committing to keep painting, but only sharing as much as I can tolerate. Because I know if I push myself too hard, the feelings of rejection and tossing into a big black hole can overtake the desire to create.
The joy of creating is too precious to risk.
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