abstract mixed mediaTwo weeks from today I’ll be hanging Beyond The Story: Exploring Visual Memoir with Rebecca Shapiro and Lisa Sonora Beam.

I had planned to write a post about how the collaboration came about. My mind is swirling with so many details of things that need to get done. I’m finding it hard to pull out of the to-do list to allow the writing muse to come forward.

Does all my work suck?

I’ve been working on this show for two years. It’s gone through a number of phases and at some point I had to commit to what my contribution to the show was going to be. Now that I have done that all the voices of fear are visiting:

  • what if the work sucks?
  • what if no one gets it?
  • what if everyone hates it?
  • what if no one comes to see the show?
  • what if no one comes to the opening?
  • what if nothing ever sells?
  • what if I wasted two years of my life?

This is just pre-show anxiety

I’ve done shows enough to know that I always hate the work just before I show it. I think it might be a crazy thing I do to protect myself. It feels vulnerable to do a show like this that is so personal. My professional self knows this is all just stuff I need to put aside and get over. It’s almost impossible. It’s part of the process to walk with it. Not let it take over and get in the way of getting things done.

What do you do?

I find it easier to cope with the fears when I name them and even laugh at them. Know their cycles. Here we are again— right on time. Sometimes I write about it (I guess that’s what this post is all about,) sometimes it helps to talk with others. Other times I have to take a break and do something totally unrelated.

Do you have a good way to manage your feelings before you put yourself out in a big way?

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5 Comments

  1. Hi Christine,
    Let me start by saying I like your art accompanying this post!

    I also love how you’ve “outed” your fears. In similar situations, usually when I’m going to give a presentation where I’m likely to feel vulnerable, I remind myself that we are always feeling our thinking and those what if questions you posed (so similar to the ones we all ask!) don’t feel good and aren’t “true” when I tune in beyond my panicky mind. So how about a what if you’re absolutely fantastic and everything exceeds your greatest expectation? Here’s to that outcome! 🙂

    Warm regards,
    Christy

    • Thanks Christy,
      I keep catching myself not even considering that the outcome exceeds expectations! Got to make that my new mantra.

  2. Hi Christine,
    Let me start by saying I like your art accompanying this post!

    I also love how you’ve “outed” your fears. In similar situations, usually when I’m going to give a presentation where I’m likely to feel vulnerable, I remind myself that we are always feeling our thinking and those what if questions you posed (so similar to the ones we all ask!) don’t feel good and aren’t “true” when I tune in beyond my panicky mind. So how about a what if you’re absolutely fantastic and everything exceeds your greatest expectation? Here’s to that outcome! 🙂

    Warm regards,
    Christy

  3. Hi Christine,
    Let me start by saying I like your art accompanying this post!

    I also love how you’ve “outed” your fears. In similar situations, usually when I’m going to give a presentation where I’m likely to feel vulnerable, I remind myself that we are always feeling our thinking and those what if questions you posed (so similar to the ones we all ask!) don’t feel good and aren’t “true” when I tune in beyond my panicky mind. So how about a what if you’re absolutely fantastic and everything exceeds your greatest expectation? Here’s to that outcome! 🙂

    Warm regards,
    Christy

    • Thanks Christy,
      I keep catching myself not even considering that the outcome exceeds expectations! Got to make that my new mantra.


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